This summer has been the hardest I have ever encountered. Coming out of a long Ohio winter, having some mild baby blues after having our youngest it was hard to adjust to being at home full-time.
I can not count the number of times I have had friends that said "I wish we could afford for me to be at home full-time". I too had said this many times during the years I worked full-time. As we had more little cherubs I wanted to be at home more. My husband and I came to the conclusion after our fourth daughter that I could no longer work at the hospital. I was blessed with an oppurtunity to work almost contingent at a local school district; I pick my hours. I jumped on the chance and knew it was blessed by God because I was at peace with leaving my old job that I so loved. I didn't look back because I had something else to fall back on, until summer hit.
I transitioned from working several long shifts a week to working a few days a month over the course of four years. And then my dream came true this summer. I was going to be a "stay at home mommy" for the three month summer break. These three months have been some of the hardest and some of the most rewarding months of my life. With my husband in school full-time most days I felt like I had no one. The biggest adjustment was decreased adult interaction. Couple that with three under the age of 5 and a pre-teen and its a recipe for disaster. There were days of defeat and anger and depression and dismay. Overall I know that I have a blessed life and a wonderful family and am exactly where God wants me. This did not help on a day to day basis of little ones screaming and big ones complaining and talking back. Being at home full-time is not a clean house and freshly made yummy treats. Its more like aching feet and trying to herd cats. By the end of the day I am more tired than I ever was working full-time. I found a few things to be essential to making the days as best as they could be.
Here are some tips I think are essential to getting through the transition working full-time to being a stay-at-home mom.
1. Wake up, pray, and read every day. In that order. The days that I did not start with this were disastrous. I spent these days battling with the girls and with myself over not getting anything accomplished. If you ask Christ to be the driving force behind your day it will help you get more done and feel more relaxed. If you don't you leave a breeding ground for the enemy to slip in.
2. Spend time with the little ones early. I have read this so many times and it is so true. If they feel like you are involved and paying attention to them early in the day they do not get in to as much trouble. I spent so many days this summer trying to get my stuff done first and paying for it with disasters created by our 4 and 2 year old; for example the painted blanket, moon-sand wall painting, and nail spa gone wrong.
3. Have adult contact daily. If I called my husband just to say "good morning I love you and am thinking of you", when problems arose he would be so much calmer and loving about how to handle them. The days that our first conversation was about something that didn't get done or needed done we would be confrontational with each other all day.
4. Plan time away weekly. Each week there has to be time, even if its only an hour, to get away. This isn't abandoning family but is a retreat to regroup yourself. Take a walk, talk to a friend, better yet go visit a friend. At first I thought this could be my trip to the grocery store but quickly realized that was not enough to keep me sane and energized. I needed planned time where I could do something I wanted, not something I had to do.
